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June 2010 – A more modern review has been posted here: Neptuno Beach Bar, Mojacar Playa.

It’s the 16th of November 2009 and at midday it was around 26ºC. Perfect weather for a paella on the beach.

Let’s be honest. The weather is perfect. No wind. No clouds. The sea is so calm that even I, with my chronic sea sickness, would consider venturing out in it. If it were not for the incompetence of the townhall and the Junta’s tourism department we would be inundated with tourists. Instead parking is ample and roads are empty. The police that plagued us in the summer have, as there is noone left to fine, gone elsewhere.

So we closed the office and skipped off down to the beach. Off to Neptuno.

Neptuno is a large beach bar / restaurant situated on the beach. A large wooden building with nice pleasent outside chairs and shading. Quite a few birds fluttering about.

Neptuno has a large rowing boat full of sand outside where they roast sardines. (Sometimes they burn them). Usually they are delicious. We didn’t have any today, no real reason why.

The food in Neptuno is not ecstatic. It is not mouth watering and it is not pants wetting. However, it is consistent, unlike so many places in the area. You know you can have a decent (if slightly wet) paella, with trimmings and salad, maybe some fish, and a bottle of plonk, and be happy.

It is also not terribly expensive. They do not increase their prices 200% in the summer; they do not rip off the tourist. Instead it is consistent, year round, tasty and happy. It is also on the beach.

If it is raining, you can sit inside and water does not drip on you, instead you can see the rain plink into the sea. If sunny, you can sit outside. If windy, you can sit on the opposite side in the lull.

They do, rather annoyingly, charge a basic for bread. €1 per head. These things get on my nerves. If you asked me “would you like some warm fresh bread and ali oli?” I would say Aye! and damn the expense. Deliver it without warning and slip an extra euro on the bill and I feel ripped off. Sadly, this is something that is becoming ever more common across Spain.

A mixed salad, which is large and ample, costs €7. A Paella costs €11 p.p., min two people. No reservation needed. A beer €2,50, a G&T €5 and a cheap Navarro rosé (Palacio de la Vega, I believe) €11.

The paella was not, today, perfect. It was not quite wet enough to be caldo, it was not dry enough to be paella. The meat was somewhat stringy. But the taste was nice and we finished it.

€64.80 for three, excluding the G&T’s.

Neptuno Beach Bar.
Playa del Descargador s/n, Mojacar Playa.
Mojácar Playa. Turn left at the Parque Commercial towards Garrucha, about 600m along on the beachside. You can’t miss it.
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Mr J. recently had a birthday.

(He doesn’t like me calling him Mr J., but since he doesn’t read this blog, who cares? Plus he told me not to reveal his true identity on this blog).

For some reason, every year Mr J. celebrates his birthday in a quiet, sober manner down at Pueblo Laguna, along with close family and friends. I’m convinced that the next night he goes out on a big blowout down in Villaricos without telling us.

Pueblo Laguna is owned by two brothers who have had the place for years. If memory serves me (it probably doesn’t) they’re half Spanish, half Italian and speak excellent English.

It’s a very nice place. Lots of wood. Pleasent staff (lad’s South African, but the good kind). Nice large bar. Internet café. Sports TV. Smaller inside restaurant, with lots of US style crap on the wall, and a large outside covered patio.

They do good food. Decent price. Large portions. Good quality food. Very nice paella.Good selection of wines.

Short answer? It looks like a tourist bar, but it’s run with pride and efficiency. If you’re in the area, pop in for lunch or dinner.

Restaurante Pueblo Laguna
950 13 25 66
Open 11 -16 and 19 – 23 (closed Mondays)
Pueblo Laguna, Vera Playa.
Go down past Roly’s Too to almost the bottom of the road. It’s on the corner as the road swings round to the beach.

El Jardin de la Paella is a small beach bar (chiringuito to those of you who know the word) perched on the border between Vera beach and Garrucha. It´s easy to get to – park in the car park and step onto the paseo.

We like to pop along sometimes on a lazy afternoon, and if we´re lucky they squeeze people together and fit us in. It´s popular – very popular on a Sunday afternoon.

They call it the ´Jardin de la Paella´, but unless you preorder (difficult, as they don´t seem to have a telephone) you can have difficulties getting one. If they´re quiet, they will knock one up for you, but otherwise… However, if you do succeed in getting one they are damned good.

The entire menu is fresh, which means that on busy days if you arrive late your first choice might not be available. However, it´s worth asking if they have anything special in, as often they have a few decent fish under the counter. Tip: Arrange the price before ordering, in order to save yourself a surprise once you´ve eaten it.

If there are a number of you, they might offer you a parrillada de pescado, or assorted fish dish. (The following tip applies to most fish restaurants in Garrucha!) Opinions vary on this, if you know your Spanish fish you´re normally better off (both in selection and price) choosing a number of dishes and mixing them up between people. If you don´t, or there aren´t enough people to warrant this, then make sure you know what´s coming and it´s price. It can be a good way to get a nice selection of fish and shellfish, it can be an easy way to give you some old fish and rip you off on the price.

The trouble with fish and shellfish in the area is that most of the decent stuff is flown straight up to Madrid, leaving us with the pickings – same with the veg, actually. Which means that if you´re in a decent family run local restaurant, you can have some of the best seafood on the Med at an amazing price – or, you can have some pretty second rate stuff at astronomical prices. Believe me, I´ve had amazing Gambas Rojas de Garrucha in Madrid at a third of the price of what they sell for here!

Back to the Jardin de la Paella – yes, it´s family run, and yes, it´s local. Yes, it can be chaotic in there, but there is an order to the madness, so if everybody is running around, be patient and they´ll get to you.

Last time there, I had the ´Calamar en la cueva´ (The cuttlefish in the cave – see photo) and it was delicious. If you like cuttlefish / squid, try it.

Oh, and if you´re there in the afternoon, try a nice Rosado wine instead of white or tinto – I think you´ll finally realise why the Spanish like the stuff in the afternoon! Nice and light, it´s perfect with fish under the sun.

P.S: The carnivores among us need not worry, they do a pretty decent meat range too.