You wouldn’t steal a car… would you?

 Golly gosh and Bernard Baker, but how I hate that Orwellian “we are watching you” advert at the beginning of all DVDs. “You wouldn’t steal a car!” it proclaims. Well, how the devil do you know I wouldn’t steal a car? You’re a Hollywood movie executive. You don’t know me. Here I am, drunk at 4 in the afternoon, eating a 350€ jamon pata negra, in my underwear, on a sofa with the fan on, in 35C of heat, watching a Family guy parody of Star Wars. Did you see that coming, Nostradamus? How do you know what I’m going to do for kicks when I finish watching? Maybe you’ve just put the idea into my head!

You wouldn’t steal a handbag!” it continues. Well, how else am I going to pay for the freaking DVD at the prices you charge?

Here’s an idea. Don’t put it on the real DVDs I’ve just paid through the nose for. Put it on the pirate DVDs so we feel ashamed. Or, here’s a good idea, drop the price of DVDs so we don’t have to pay for the pirate ones. Or treat us like adults and stop being irritating. On some DVDs, if you watch “episode by episode” it replays the warning everytime you let the credits roll by.

Talking of DVDs, did you know that FNAC are now selling the complete series of Yes!, Minister And Yes! Prime Minister, in Spanish? Who the devil is going to buy that? How do they transfer the biting irony of (Sir) Humphrey Appleby? The cringing indecision of Hacker? Bloody hell, I’ve just noticed it’s also in Euskera & Catalan. Still, the (Spanish) reviewers give it 5 fnac thumbs up. I’m tempted to order it, just for the giggles.

One Reply to “You wouldn’t steal a car… would you?”

  1. LOL!! This post is hysterical!! Everything you say is so true. And I think the only people in Spain who are going to buy a dubbed version of “Yes, Minister” are the British living in Spain who wish to want to work on their Spanish, Euskera or Catalán! I see no Spaniard buying those DVDs. Any Spaniard who is into British humor will want to watch it in the original version, not dubbed.

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