Bobbies versus la policia

UK policeman at Notting Hill carnival this weekend:

UK copper at the recent Notting Hill festival

Spanish police at a recent feria carrying out random breath tests on pedestrians:

Anger as Plascencia police crack down on daylight drinkers at city fiesta (

Ah, thank heavens we’re in the free for all laid back party going state of España , eh?

While we’re on the subject of Spanish coppers, here’ s an (illustrated) Spanish joke:

hur hur hur!

45 year old cyclist found dead in the hills

A 45 year old man has been found dead on his cycle up in the hills above Felix.

Initial reports suggest that he probably had a heart attack whilst climbing a steep hill in the heat.

A reminder to us all to take it easy in the heat of day, drink plenty of water and take a mobile phone if we’re going to be out and about exercising by ourselves.

“Clavius”, a new film by Kevin Reynolds, to be shot in Almeria

An unspecified amount of the forthcoming film by Kevin Reynolds, “Clavius”, is to be filmed in the province.

Reynolds worked with Kevin Costner on Robin Hood and Waterworld. His latest film is a mystery about the death of Christ, starring Joseph Finnes and Tom Felton (who appeared in Harry Potter).

It’s not going to be a megaproduction like “Exodus” (currently embroiled in racism scandal because all the heros are, against historical record, white, and the baddies, black) but a fair portion will be filmed in Almería

Cajamar cashier who stole 154.124€ from clients “almost” sent to jail

A female Cajamar cashier who stole 154.124€ from the accounts of 20 different clients between 2006 and 2010 has been sentenced to 21 months jail for the crime.

She’s also been fined 2€ a day for 6 months (errrr….. 365€? That doesn’t seem much).

Of course, reading between the lines, if you have a clean record, you don’t normally go to jail if the sentence is under 2 years – it’s usually suspended (except for violence, terrorism, etc etc or if you’ve got up the Judge’s nose).

Anway, M.A.B.B. returned 70.149€ to Cajamar when she was caught.

So by my calculations, although she’s out of a job, she’s 83.610€ up on the deal.


The importance of a good proofreader

There are two famous philosophers called Bacon in English history. Friar Roger Bacon (1214-1294) and Francis Bacon (1561-1626).

Roger wrote the first encyclopaedia and promoted the Scientific Method, for which he got into trouble with the Pope.

Francis, no lesser a genius, rather confusingly continued with the Scientific Method and introduced the scientific revolution into England.

They tend to get confused. Here’s  a good quote from from a 1922 edition and reprint of Inquisitor Daza’s 1623 treatise “Use of eyeglasses” (Uso de los anteojos), an important Spanish word on optics, in which the Professor who is writing the introduction talks briefly about previous experiments: (page 21)

ROGER (ROGELIO) BACON, English monk born in 1214 in Ilford, known as Doctor Miralibilis, [chased by the Pope, etc etc] and who retired to the county of Somerset where he died in 1694 [..] his work opus major was written in 1267 and published by JEBB in LONDON in 1733..

Methinks the good Professor was writing this after a glass of the old vino and possibly his finger kept slipping between the two entries in the reference book: BACON, FRANCISCO & BACON, ROGELIO….

Who needs proofreaders, eh?

Las Veras

Vera town secretary earns more than President Rajoy

The Secretary of Vera townhall is on a higher wage than President Rajoy of Spain, according to leaked figures.

Rajoy is being paid €78.185,04 this year.

Chummy from Vera (his name wasn’t published) is on a base salary of €72.470,32, plus a €6.000 “productivity” bonus. Meaning he’ll earn €285.28 more than President Rajoy this year.

The average annual Spanish salary, by the way, is just €22.790, or about €1.300 a month after tax. (Not round here it isn’t!).

The Secretary is an important figure in any townhall: they’re a Civil Servant (funcionario) whose job it is to advise the politicians on the correct procedures to follow. So getting them to sign off on anything is a good way for a politician to cover his or her back (because they can just shrug and say they were following procedures, all nice and legal, even if they were technically breaking a few laws). And since the Secretary is a funcionario they can’t technically be fired….. Understand this particular little circle of life?



20,000 illegal home amnesty to be overturned – no photo of King on wall

On the 9th of July, in a fiercely fought battle, the government of the Balearic Isles voted in a landmark amnesty for 20,000 illegal homes across the islands.

The vote was forced through, and bitterly opposed by the opposition, ecologist groups and the national government.

Well, the opposition have spotted a loophole and lodged an appeal to have the Constitutional Court overturn the vote – because the voting chamber didn’t have the official photo of King Felipe VI on the wall, only the old one of Juan Carlos.

A few days before, King Felipe had ascended to the Throne and a new national law ordered that all schools, courts, parliaments and places of official business display his official Portrait. Sadly, the Balearic Isles hadn’t received their copy by the 9th, so still had the old one of his father hanging up.

This could be enough, according to Constitutional Experts, to have all votes passed in the chamber at this time be annulled… including the amnesty.

But President Salom of the Balearic Isles had already thought of this, and claims her solution was sufficient. You see, spotting the problem, she’d printed out a copy of the official Portrait that she’d found through Google on her office printer, stuck it into a frame, and put it on her desk, replacing the one of her family.

If the appeal goes through, the highest court in the land will be ruling on whether a photo of the King is more important than the democratic process and 20,000 homes……

We’re at a point where you honestly don’t know if I’m making this stuff up or not, aren’t we?

Almería news, blog, webpages, books, gossip, opinions & much more